Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
