dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
is wine microwaveable?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
