i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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