My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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