today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
