remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
