i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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