Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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