Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
