Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
