Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We are all done wearing pants today
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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