I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
