i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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