can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
