they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize