Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
only you would photoshop your dick
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
