Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
