I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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