i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
