I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
