scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
