My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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