I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
