sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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