can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
