spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
