SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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