I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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