Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
