The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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