im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
