Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
