Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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