he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
