Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
