Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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