I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
