I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
