I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
