Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize