I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
