if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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