I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
