im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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