I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
