They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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