Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
