so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize