Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
