It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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