kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
