Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
