i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
