So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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