so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
