no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
