4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
