I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
