She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
