I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We left an ass print on the piano.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How does one acquire holy water?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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