I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I need water and some morals
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
