this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
