Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
